My life is DIFFERENT than yours...

Living with RA has enough physical challenges as it is. But on top of that there are mental and emotional challenges too. It's like being on a roll a coaster constantly. You are looking for a cure, not knowing who you can trust. wondering if doctors just want your money or if they can actually help, what works and doesn't, not being able to rely on people you thought you could when life throws this at you and the list goes on.

I do not want to dismiss or take away from any other condition or illness but what makes this one so hard is:

-there is no cure: with this comes the desire to constantly want to prove the doctors wrong and find a way for the disease to go away, not show up in my blood work anymore and all symptoms taken away and damage renewed

-it's dabiliatating: life goes from being perfectly independent and capable to in a wheelchair and needing assistance with everything. Taking away so much of what you used to be able to do. 
-its on-going: its not like having a baby or getting the flu or having surgery. When these things happen in life usually there is an out pour of people willing to lend a helping hand. When you have a chronic illness that last FOREVER it seems like rather the opposite happens. I'm sure there are several reasons why people shy away. Here's some I can think of: 1. its not a one time job, 2. if they offer to help there is no end in sight, 3.they can't relate and don't understand, 4.they think you can do it on your own because this illness is INVISIBLE. There are many days I have lied in bed and starved until my husband got home from work.
-its invisible: the #1 thing I hear most often when people find out I am sick is " well you look great." Altough I appreciate the comment, I don't look how I feel. I just wish once in a while I could have cuts and bruises, elbows and knees that are red,swollen- as big as bowling balls because then I would look more like I feel. :/

-it changes day to day: I can have a low pain day and do a lot and the very next day I don't have enough strength to brush my teeth.

Through my experience I don't think you can meet stronger people then those who have suffered, endured, fought, prayed and been through battle after battle trying to get through life. I have gained SO much wisdom through this journey. I want to share a little of this wisdom with you now. This is stuff you heard before but please listen and try to live this way so you don't have to go through something extremely hard in life to learn such a simple lesson.

Here it is:

LIFE IS NOT ABOUT :

WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING, WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE, WHAT CAR YOU DRIVE, WHAT BRAND CLOTHES YOU WEAR, WHAT SPORTS YOU PLAY OR DID PLAY, WHO YOUR FAMOUS RELATIVE IS ETC.

LIFE IS ABOUT LOVE- LEARNING TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED. THAT'S THE WAY WE WERE CREATED.

ALL THOSE THINGS LISTED ABOVE IN A SENSE FALL BACK TO WANTING TO BE LOVED AND TRYING TO FIT IN. HOLDING A STATUS.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS LOVE AND BE LOVED.

Rant and Hashimoto's

Whether we will admit it or not there is always some sort-of pre-conceived opinions/judgements( or whatever you want to call it) that goes along with chronic illness. When people say they suffer from physical pain and they look fine some ideas might be: they're over dramatic, they have low pain tolerance, they need attention, they are lazy and the list goes on. I'll admit it myself, that before I was a person who was plagued by chronic illness I often wondered if others were "faking it" or just lazy. I now know better. Don't get me wrong there are probably some people out there like this, but without knowing their history and story don't come to an evaluation about that person until you have heard them out.
[BTW: Chronic illness/Chronic Disease refers to long-lasting condition (more then 3 months) that can be controlled but not cured]

Since beginning this blog I have already come into contact with a handful of people who are also suffering from autoimmune diseases or symptoms. Some of these people I already knew and had no idea they were sick and others I have just recently met. One thing we all share in common is the desire to heal and live pain free. As a result of this I have spent countless hours of research and A LOT of money looking for it.

Last year in Febuary was one of those times. I was going to see a guy by the name of  Dr. Jace. ( you can look up his website if you wish- www.jacemedical.com.) My friend Esther from church told me about him and said she had a friend of a friend having amazing results with his RA by going to see this him. I spoke to this friend on the phone and he did really have great results, along with seeing another doctor along side Dr. Jace who gave him antibiotic treatments. Anyway, I wanted to get the most out of my initial visit with him, so I ordered all the bloodwork through my primary care physician. That way I could bring it with me to my first appointment. After going to the lab I got a letter in the mail saying this:

Your vitamin D was low, I prescribed vitamin D for 2 months then continue with vitamin D (1000 units daily, over the counter.) Your thyroid antibody test was positive, we will be sending a referral to the endocrinologist, and they will be calling you for an appointment. 

I had to delay my visit to the to Dr. Jace and instead I made my appointment with the endocrinologist. I saw him a while later. I left that day diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease. And just like when I was diagnosed with RA and I really had no idea what it was or how it worked. I left not even knowing how to say Hashimoto's correctly. Here's what it is:


Hashimoto’s disease is an autoimmune condition in which the body attacks and destroys its own thyroid gland. Piece by piece your body chews up and destroys your own thyroid gland as if it is the enemy. In a healthy immune system, antibodies act as the body’s army to detect and destroy invaders not normally present in the body, such as bacteria, viruses, fungi, and parasites. In the case of Hashimoto’s disease, a defective immune system wreaks havoc on the body by directing antibodies against its own thyroid gland as if it is a foreign invader.

I guess you could say I wasn't very happy to hear the latest diagnoses, here is a pic from the appointment that day.




But on top of the diagnosis, the doctor was not very nice. He asked me why I had these labs drawn and I told him they were ordered for a holistic doctor that I was planning to go see in LA. His response was that I had no business ordering these labs because then I find out stuff like this and I have bigger problems to worry about like my RA. Gee, thanks a lot doctor. So now I had not 1 but 2 auto immune diseases. :/

They ordered an ultrasound of my thyroid.

A link to a clear explanation of what Rheumatoid Arthritis is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kOuma9Ad-E


This video gives a clear explanation of the illness and explains how it works. At first it just causes pain and inflammation but eventually it is able to destroy your healthy tissues and causes debilitation.

Since I have had it I was diagnosed with off the chart levels so I have always had a severe case of it. I have never gone into remission. But I have searched for different treatment options and as you continue reading my blog you will be able to know of each one and eventually to the one I am on now and how well it is or isn't working. I am excited to get to the parts of what does help me. But first I want to give you a glimpse of really how hard life has been for me this past year. I am going to post a link at the end of this post of a video of me getting out of bed. As humiliating as it is I don't think words can offer a clear enough picture sometimes. This video was taken on a REALLY "good"  RA day. On a bad day I can't get out of bed at all. On a little bit better then bad day I can get out of bed with assistance. In this video I don't need any assistance, I am able to sit up and get up all on my own and that's what I consider a really good day, especially if I was able to do it before 12pm. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whg13V8F8XY

In the video you may have noticed the walker and how I didn't use it to walk. One of my most inflamed areas is my wrist and putting any pressure on them is too painful. When using a walker your taking the weight off your feet and that weight is put on your hands and wrist so that is why you don't see me use it.My hands hurt so much I can't just lift the blanket off of me I try to kick it off at first.  Also, right before this we purchased a memory foam mattress that provides more support and we put it on just a metal frame for now that way it is at the right level (not too high and not too low) for me to be able to get in and out of it without as much difficulty.You may not really notice how hard it is but you might notice the way I walk. I have to use my stomach muscles to get from laying down position to sitting up I can't put weight on my hands, wrist or shoulders. I used my elbow which is less painful. I never expected to share this, I took it so in case I healed one day I wouldn't forget what life was like before. There were many worse days then this and its weird to ask someone to record you so I don't have other videos to offer. I'm really nervous to share and I watched it 3 times while writing this blog trying to decide. I hope some way some how it helps someone else who suffers by sharing this.

( or maybe I can be a guest on the walking dead... ;))

Thanks for reading!

Journey Update/Doterra Essential Oils

Hello Everyone,

My journey for holistic healing began February 2013. In March I went to see Pamela Schwartz of Schwartz Wellness Center. She does what is called a ZYTO scan, where it reads your body for food stressors. She explained how everyone's body is different and we react to foods and everything in our environment individually. For instance one person maybe allergic to strawberries and another isn't, so when the allergic person eats them their body responds with hives, swelling, etc. while another can eat with no reaction. Your brain responds in 1of 3 ways: 1. this is good for me 2. this is bad for me 3. neutral (neither good or bad.) I did my scan and some of my  top stressors are foods I was eating EVERYDAY and a lot of them. For instance every morning I ate a banana with almond butter. Almonds were my #1 nut stressor food. My highest was artichoke.

Here's my top ten:

1. Artichoke
2. Clove
3. Cabbage
4. Cola
5. Acesulfame K - vitamin C
6. Brussel Sprouts
7. Cucumber
8. Cumin Seed
9. Beer- Dunkel  (Idk what dunkel beer is??)
10. Liquor-Rum

So you see it may be things that are actually good for you but your body doesn't accept or process them right. So she does what is called NAET treatments to reprogram your body so everything can process correctly and you can be on your way to better health. In my next post I will tell you more about NAET and my experience and if it seems to work or not. Then I will continue telling you the journey of 2013 through today. There is SO much to tell so please keep reading!!

In the mean time I wanted to let you know about Doterra Essential Oils. They are A-uh-MAZING! So real quick...my daughter has had a chronic cough she gets EVERY year in the fall and it last all fall through the winter. She has been told she has bronchitis and diagnosed with asthma.  This last year I used Doterra oils on her and her cough went away never to return. She had it from 1 years old -7 years old, so bad she would often spit up stomach acid. This was the first year I didn't have to deal with it!! :)

Also, she is allergic to diary and when she was a baby the first time I gave her formula she blew up like a red tomato, broke out in hives and got so swollen I had to rush her to urgent care. She slowly was able to tolerate it in moderation. She wouldn't swell and break out anymore but it would always result in tummy aches. Any time she has more then one diary item she wakes up at night in tummy pain. So a while back she woke up one night with her stomach protruded and hard as a rock, crying because her tummy hurt. ( when this would happen before we would be up for hours.) This time I used Doterra DigestZen essential oil, she used the restroom, threw up the dairy and went back to bed with no more stomach pain! I was back to bed in 20 mins unlike up all night in the past.

There are MANY remedies and uses with these oils and I highly recommend them in place of medicine. So if you are interested or have questions LMK. You can check them out at: http://mydoterra. If you're interesting in ordering please contact me.

Thanks for reading!! :)

Articles that explain things better than me 😁

If your one of my family members or close friends (and even if your not) please copy and paste the links and please read. These articles are helpful and explain my thoughts so well. Living with an invisible illness is a constant battle of knowing when to test your limits/boundaries and trying not to over do it in fear of being less capable later. It's a struggle of trying to decipher between: trying to look how you feel (hoping to provide others with understanding) or to take advantage and seize every opportunity when I feel ok. I decided for myself I am going to take advantage because YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE #yolo. So the next time you see me dancing at a friends wedding or event and think to yourself, she looks and acts fine, just know that may very well be last time I am capable of dancing. Why wouldn't I go for it even if it hurts? If I'm feeling limber I will timber 😜 lol. And if it takes some orange wheat or one more Tylenol to enjoy that moment with people I love then so be it! 

http://www.restministries.org/articles/art-worry.htm

http://invisibleillnessweek.com/2012/09/12/explain-illness/

http://restministries.com/2012/05/ways-to-encourage/

Here's another:

Does it help or hinder the understanding of our illness when we compare our illness to normal people getting sick?

The idea of comparing a bad headache to chronic migraines, regular period cramps to endometriosis, or general soreness to Fibromyalgia or other chronic pain disorders.

Believe me, I could put in no further consideration and sit here and declaim about lack of perspective, insensitivity, and general failure to engage brain before opening mouth. But there’s two good reasons for me to not do so.

1. I don’t actually believe there’s any intended insult there most of the time
2. It’s lazy and I like to challenge the way I’m inclined to think sometimes

What I feel it’s worth thinking about is that chronic ill health is not something in the sphere of experience of the general population. I would venture as far as to say it is impossible to encapsulate and articulate the quality of that experience to someone whose life is not touched by chronic ill health–whether they are the sufferer or whether they are close to someone who is.

Since it's beyond what most people can even phantom, more frustrations derive because you can never really make anyone understand. :/ 

Old Lab results

I was looking over one of my very first labs that was taken when I was trying to figure out what was wrong. This was from the visit when I went to urgent care and told them I had very limited use of my hands. The notes read:

27 year old female with hand pain and stiffness

A three view exam shows no evidence of acute bone injury or fracture. There is no evidence of premature degenerative joint disease. The mineralization appears normal. There is no evidence of joint space widening or malalignment. The adajcent bony and soft tissue structures are likewise within normal limits.

I remember you could not so much even touch my hand without the pain making me want to burst in tears. Yet here are the doctors notes. Also, I never noticed this before but I was looking at the labs that they drew that day and my absolute monocyte was at 152L and normal range is 200-950. When I googled about it here's what I found.

A low monocyte count can occur for a variety of reasons, including physical illness, the use of certain medications, or vitamin deficiencies. Illnesses that affect the bone marrow, such as HIV, rheumatoid arthritis, or lupus, are among the most common causes for a low monocyte count. This symptom may also develop as a side effect of some medications or deficiencies in vitamins such as folate and vitamin B-12. Some types of bacterial infections may cause a decrease in this type of white blood cell, although it is more common for infections to develop as a result of the abnormal blood values. Any specific questions or concerns about low numbers of monocytes in an individual situation should be discussed with a doctor or other medical professional.

A monocyte is a type of white blood cell that is produced by the bone marrow and helps to protect the body from foreign invaders, such as harmful bacteria and viruses. When there is a decreased number of monocytes in the blood, the body is more susceptible to illness. In order to create an individualized treatment plan, a doctor may order a variety of diagnostic tests to help determine the exact cause of the low monocyte count.

Did my doctor ever go over this with me or let me know this monocyte was low? No he didn't. You would think when I ask to be referred to rheumatology he would have said yes instantly because of this but neither the urgent care doctor who ordered the labs nor my primary care physician seemed to pay attention to this. If any of you ever feel something is wrong go with your gut even if doctors tell you everything is fine. Keep searching to find answers. I am still on this journey, yes I have found answers as to what my diganoses are but I haven't found complete answers to the root cause or answers to complete healing. I am on that road now.Some of you have private messaged me and shared ideas of certain products to try and I am in the process of researching each of them and when I try them individually I will share with all of you the results.  Continue reading becuase I am almost to the part of my story that happened in 2013 and A LOT happened and I began keeping better records of it all. :)