Friday Fun

PToday I had my monthly B-12 injection. Here is the nurse right before she pricks me.

One big reason I started this blog was to not only help raise awareness and perhaps help others who go through the same thing, but just to let people know whats going on in my life on a day to day basis. Often, my family and friends will say, " you don't tell me." " I need to know this." When you are at the doctors office about 20 times a month you don't really share it every time. And when you have lupus, chronic fatigue and anemia- you don't exactly have energy to call or text people to tell them. Yeah, I usually tell no one. My mom calls a lot and sometimes she said I called you for 3 days to see whats going on and you don't call me back. It's true I don't- that's one of the reasons I started this blog because I want my mom and all my family yo come to it for updates because I just don't have energy to call and update all the time. The only energy I have I use to dig myself out of this health hell and to devote to my husband and daughter.

I'm having better and better days currently with my blood levels up a bit I've been noticing I am able to do more without crashing and when the meds provide some relief it doesn't make you as sleeping either. I've been making mjs lunches every night and I made my family dinner twice.

Here was my day today:

( I had a cortizone injection yesterday- so typically I can't do this much but today I was able to)

- Went to my daughter's awards assembly

- stopped by corner bakery with my dad and chela (I didn't eat, because practically EVERYTHING on the menu has sugar in it, I almost order a plain egg but it didn't sound good)

- ran home to meet a someone to look at my house

- subbed for an hour high school

- went to reflexology ( this helps me go longer)

- went to the drive-thru car wash ( I'm not able to wash my car anymore and my hubs is too busy)

- went to get my b-12 injection

- came home to meet my friend the realtor to list my house

- typed this blog/ate prepared dinner from fit foods and now I am off to bible study.

You guys will know when I am feeling better because there will be more frequent blog post. When there's not post most likely im not doing so great. Love you and hope you have a great weekend!

-

The time...the money...the energy...

So I had yet another doctors appointment.  Today it was with my rheumatologist. It went almost 2 hours. She came in we went over my current  medication and my most recent bloodwork. 

My appointment was at 10:20am. I told you guys before that mornings are hard. I was limping into her office with a high level of pain. We discussed my current condition. And I guess you can say methotrexate is working. My inflamation  is down. But.... It's not working quite enough as walking is still a very difficult thing most days. So she wants to increase my dosage.

I've been getting iron infusions twice a week for my low blood and I have good news it's up to a 10. That is still not in the normal range. The lowest of normal is a 12. But I'm heading in the right direction without having to resort to blood transfusions thank the Lord! 

I decided to let her do Cortizone shot as well. I know steroids are not good to inject and my body. However I have lost 75% of use of my right arm and she thought this may help me get some of it back. 

She said I will be able to tell in a few days. She ordered MORE LABS 😣

I go to physical therapy once a week to try and regain motion of my right arm.

 

I want people to see just how much time, money, prayer and energy is devoted to trying to get to a place where many people are without any work. I took my helath for granted before. I pray one day I can be healthy again! ❤️ 

In Gods timing...

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

People living with autoimmune disease have to fight every day just to get out of bed. I know I've said this before but do try to imagine having the most intense workout of your life then waking up the next day. On top of your soreness and pain you have the flu so your weak, groggy; you have a headache and nausea. Then imagine you still have to do you all your regular day activities: get dressed, go to work,  get the kids to school, make breakfast etc. now imagine your flu and soreness and pain last for months or years.  You never get one day of relief. You have very little energy -wanting to use than a you do have to give to your loved ones.  However running yourself around to multiple doctors appointments takes a lot of energy away. So now your left with  guilt over not being able to go play with your daughter because you're extremely fatigued after a doctors appointment. Or you have to ask your husband to do the mom duties on top of doing the husband duties and then you have to guilt  for that. But ur body has given out- it's just not capable. It's runned down, it's sick, it tired, it's attacking itself, it's disabled. 

It's a full time job trying to stay operating. By operating I mean - having my body have the ability to move. RA causes joints to lock and stiffen to the point where they're not usable anymore. This is what's taken place in my right arm elbow. When a joint or tendion has had Inflamation for a prolonged period of time; The body does it's best attempt to repair itself. In doing so it grows a bone where there is normally tissue. As a result you get bone fusion and you're unable to move that as you were before. There is a blend of essential oils that says this can be reversed and it can dissolve the bone. I am going to give that a try and keep you guys posted.

I want to be around in the future and I don't just want to be there in a wheel chair I want to partake in life.  I want to be able to take my daughter prom dress shopping, want to plan her wedding with her,  I want to be a grandma who can help with my grand kids one day. I don't want to be taken care or assisted. 

Lupus and food

I've talked a lot about my RA on these blogs but I'm also diagnosed with systemic lupus. But unlike RA which attacks my connective tissue, muscles, bones, joints and tendons, Lupus attacks my organs. This means it attacks things in my body that are there to keep me healthy such as my kidney, my liver, brain, heart and more. 

It's super scary living with these illness and watching your health decline more and more. It's scary because I cannot live without meds but taking them makes my organs work harder and they're already in a state of weakness. They become overloaded with more toxins as I put them in my body. 

I try to compensate with my diet and supplements but this throws some  obstacles in my path. 

Obstacle #1

Having the energy to meal plan

Obstacle #2

Having energy/strength to run errands and grocery shop ( I haven't gone to the grocery store in over a year without using the driveable carts, unfortunately they don't have them at all stores or farmers markets so I run out of fuel fast)

Obstacle #3 

Prepping food ( impossible to do on my own as I have very lil function with my right side I cannot cut or chop much besides a banana or avocado) and everything needs to be fresh so it needs washing, peeling, cutting etc. this is before it's even ready to be prepared into a meal.

Obstacle #4

Finances - I need food to serve as medicine and not  poison to my body. Therefore the foods I eat can't have any preservatives, added growth hormones, antibotics, chemicals, etc. ( basically I can't get much at the local grocery store)

I need to eat primarily organic and free range/ grass fed meats and eggs. This requires getting food from several different places ( more errands 😣) and organic is costly💸. My grocery bills has almost quadrupled since changing my diet. This is just paying for food- this isn't mentioning the endless amount of other cost that have developed/ increased as a result of my condition. 

Most of these obstacles were overcome this week (minus the last) by ordering my food from fit foods. If you decide to use them PLEASE tell them I referred you and let me know because I believe it qualifies me for a discount. ( they are out of redlands) Anyway, it was $160 for lunch and dinner for 5 days prepped and ready to eat! This was a huge weight off my shoulders knowing I could eat healthy without trying to stragegize on how to get it prepped and made. But $640 a month that doesn't include bfast/ weekends or food for my hubby and daughter is a lil much for me to be able to do consistently. 

 

I hoping there's a way to continue because it honestly is my biggest challenge and has the biggest affect on my health and well being. If anyone is interested in it, it will lower my cost and If u refer someone it will lower your cost as well! :) Also there are some meal plans less than $160 per week. Fit foods redlands. Let me know! 😊

Holliejean5@msn.com

Thanks for reading 

Instagram feed

This last pic is just to hoping I can fit my wedding ring on again soon! Because of inflammation it usually doesn't fit.

New diagnosis

I will start with Saturday. Saturday my husband came home from his fantasy football draft with a little brown bag in his hand. Before I even opened it I began crying. When he was at the draft one of his friends gave it to him to give to me from his wife. She's been reading my blog and sent me a care package. I was so touched, it brought me to tears, It's so nice to feel cared for and know others are thinking and praying for you! Thank you Coral! :)

August 20th I had my rheumatologist appointment. I told her that I have been taking my methotrexate medication for about 2 months and haven't noticed any difference. I've also still been on plaquenil and prescribed prednisone of which I weened myself off because it makes me psycho. She looked over my most recent blood work and asked if I have bleeding from some where or if I have heavy periods ( um..no and..no) because I am still dropping in blood and have been chronically anemic for over a year and a half; But it continues to get worse. My hemoglobin is 8.4. She referred me to the blood specialist again and ordered a whole work-up of blood work for iron. I showed her my elbow and how the bone has now fused together with permanent damage and asked if I will ever be able to straighten my arm again. She said we can try a cortisone shot but I said let me think about it and get back to her. ( I've had cortisone and predisone injections plenty of times before. Sometimes I wish I hadn't done so much research and not know all the bad that comes with drugs/med.)

I've been juicing all week and have had NO SUGAR. I ate mainly chicken and veggies and these endurance bars I made with a friend. I still woke up everyday like it was the new worst day of my life.

On Tuesday August, 26th, I had an appointment with new primary care physician. I was very pleased with him and enjoyed his presence. He did a small physical and looked over my blood work- he said I needed to see the hemotologist right away for the anemia and also I'm deficient in b12. ( btw...I take this supplement everyday along with iron.) From his examination he said I don't have candida- which was enough to make me run home and eat a banana and throw away the last 9 days of absolutely no sugar. :(

They started now allowing patience to view an echart. Here's what's on it from those 2 visits:

Problems

Problems

Name	Type	Code	Status	Effective Date
CERVICAL LYMPHADENOPATHY	Diagnosis	127086001 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/26/2014
CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME	Diagnosis	52702003 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/26/2014
DYSPEPSIA	Diagnosis	162031009 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/26/2014
ELBOW PAIN, RIGHT	Diagnosis	74323005 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/26/2014
RAYNAUD'S SYNDROME	Diagnosis	195295006 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/26/2014
SCREENING FOR HYPERTENSION	Diagnosis	171222001 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/26/2014
SYSTEMIC LUPUS ERYTHEMATOSUS	Diagnosis	55464009 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/26/2014
VITAMIN B12 DEFICIENCY	Diagnosis	190634004 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/26/2014
ANEMIA OF CHRONIC DISEASE	Diagnosis	234347009 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/20/2013
HEALTH SCREENING	Diagnosis	79206001 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/20/2013
LYMPHADENOPATHY, AXILLA	Diagnosis	127189005 (SNOMED CT)	Active	08/20/2013

You may notice some new diagnosis. :( When I was there my nails were a little blue and I guess I showed other signs of that Raynaud's syndrome and dyspepsia. I'm not sure if these are official diagnosis because they sent me off for more labs and a stool test. I feel like I cannot catch a break. I feel like everytime I am at the doctor's its more bad news. Yet, I have to go because I need to be monitored with my conditions and medications.

You might ask why I am on the medications now. Well it got to a point where I had to, I need some relief and without it I feel like a complete burden to my family. I feel like the part in that movie LUCY where she is sitting in the chair and watching everything happen. I feel like life is happening and take place all around me and I am just present- in the chair. Watching everyone else live.

So enough with Debbie Downer. Here's the good news: that banana put me in a wonderful mood! I have had a very happy week since then and have enjoyed my family and have even noticed the medication to start kicking in! Whoo hoo! I've enjoyed getting into reading the book Coral gave me that has provided some great insight- it's called one thousand gifts. I chatted with a guy from church who suffers from RA and it helped to talk to someone who can relate to many of my thoughts and feelings. He made me realize healthy individuals are never going to get it. So I need to stop trying to make people understand, its not something anyone can comprehend unless they've been there. So I need to try less on getting others to understand and more sticking to the facts and how life has changed from when I was healthy. I'll save more of that for my future blogs! Finally, Chela made me some yummy homemade beans and salsa, which made my day and are so yummy! Also, I was able to throw my daughter a small birthday get together with her friends. I had a breakdown a few times because I wanted it to be special for her and I couldn't do everything I wanted ( bc of low energy and capabilities) but I am happy for my husband AGAIN and that with his help we pulled it off! Things I am looking forward to this week:  seeing my friend Liza and having her do my hair, detox suana, small group, Makenna's birthday and soccer game! Have a blessed week! :)


BTW... I said I walk the fence because I do between holistic medicine and modern medicine.  ahhh!

I have an addiction...

I am an addict and my drug is sugar. If you are reading this PLEASE pray for me and if you can help or encourage me in any way I could use it! Here's why:

After all the holistic regimen's I have tried these past couple of years there was really only one that made a significant difference but after a while I fell off track and I failed at it. I fail over and over again- this is why I need help. I didn't even want to acknowledge it or admit it to anyone at first because I don't want someone telling me not to eat something I shouldn't be when I'm around them.

When Dr. Steve Nelson told me I had a yeast overgrowth aka Candida, I wasn't sure if he was right. But I began asking everyone around me to see their tongue. Weird- I know. But one huge indicator that you may have yeast overgrowth is a white tongue and you suffer from fatigue and much more. When I began his diet of strictly brown rice, veggies and chicken I began feeling better. But once you feel a little better you think I can handle one small bite of this or that. In my case this leads to a binge and I'm back to square one.

As I began studying candida and it causes and effects. I started realizing just how long I have been contributing to this and ultimately the road that lead me to develop 3 auto immune disease with a great deal of suffering from physical pain.Our bodies were never made to be fueled by sugar, however that's exactly what I have always used. I remember before basketball games in high school I would crave a snickers or peanut butter and jelly sandwich. After games I would load up on more crap like pizza and Gatorade. Our bodies were made to be fueled by fat not sugar!

When I try to eliminate sugar completely, its SO HARD for me. I am not only fighting myself but I am fighting this monster inside of me that has been growing for years and destroying my gut and intestines. He has invaded my body and now food particles, toxins and bacteria get into my blood. (leaky gut)

When you begin starving the yeast that has been in complete control for years it gets angry. It gives me all sorts of problems. It's like the monster is throwing a fit and doing everything possible to try and get you to give him the sugar he wants. I break out in rashes- that are MISERABLE. It's like my skin is raw and it burns so badly to wash my hands, put lotion on, etc. I also get terrible stomach pains and digestive issues. I began having more arthritis pain- where it leaves me debilatated. I get nauseous and dizzy. This is considered the " die-off" affects. I can never get through it. ( this is why I need prayer so I can)

If I eat sugar or anything with yeast these symptoms almost immediately go away or subside. I want to be a functional wife and mom so I give into the cravings. I have never gone totally crazy. Giving in= having an apple, or dark chocolate chips with walnuts. But this leads to me wanting more and more. Even as I type this I can't get red licorice out of my mind. ( I can't even tell you the last time I had one, but yet I still crave it.)

Today, at church my pastor talked about pain and how good people suffer from pain. Just last night before bed I was telling my husband how I have felt God's hand in on almost everything in our life but I feel somewhat neglected when it comes to my illness. I have prayed and prayed for healing and God has not granted that to me. I don't know why. I lost it today I had to leave and go to the restroom because I couldn't fight back the flood of tears. There are very few people who know pain like I know pain. I wonder why I have to go through this and what breaks my heart the most is what my daughter and husband have to go through as a result. 

So I here I am again today. I am going to try again. This is day 1 again ( for the countless time). I made it through the day with no sugar. I made chicken patties that were delicious so I wanted to share the recipe.  I will post it below. But there are many days where I am too sick to prep or prepare food or even get myself to the kitchen. These days are when its so easy for me to fail. I also have thoughts like, " I am suffering so much already, it ok, it will make me feel better"--(Which it does emotionally)"It's not fair that everyone can eat what they want without hurting." "I don't want to faint or pass out and I need to just throw something in my mouth." 

See, I weigh 107 and I have anemia. So I need nutrionients/food/protein. When I attempt to starve the monster my appetite grows. The easiest way to feel better and have die-off affects subside is to eat something simple and with sugar. I need non-sugar homemade granola bars on hand, which I am going to attempt to make with a friend this week. I don't know how I am going to have the energy and strength to have on hand the prepared foods I need to eat. But that is why I am going to ask people for help and hope they can help me. I am asking you for prayers that I will have the endurance and will power to get through this and not give into the monster. 

Thank you for reading! Here's the recipe. Next time I want to add salt and jalapenos. :)

Makes 2 servings

• 1 lb. chicken breast fillets
• 1 cup zucchini, chopped
• 1 inch piece fresh ginger, chopped
• 2 spring onions, chopped
• 1/4 cup fresh cilantro
• 1 Tbsp. coconut aminos
• 1 egg
• 3 Tbsp. freshly ground flaxseed
• Coconut oil

Preparation

1. Throw everything except the oil into the food processor, until you get a good consistency to make the burgers.
2. Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat.
3. You should be able to form 5-6 patties from the mixture in the food processor. Cook them for 3 to 4 minutes each side, or until browned and cooked through.
4. Serve with a salad of your choice.

I got it from www.thecandidadiet.com