After all the holistic regimen's I have tried these past couple of years there was really only one that made a significant difference but after a while I fell off track and I failed at it. I fail over and over again- this is why I need help. I didn't even want to acknowledge it or admit it to anyone at first because I don't want someone telling me not to eat something I shouldn't be when I'm around them.
When Dr. Steve Nelson told me I had a yeast overgrowth aka Candida, I wasn't sure if he was right. But I began asking everyone around me to see their tongue. Weird- I know. But one huge indicator that you may have yeast overgrowth is a white tongue and you suffer from fatigue and much more. When I began his diet of strictly brown rice, veggies and chicken I began feeling better. But once you feel a little better you think I can handle one small bite of this or that. In my case this leads to a binge and I'm back to square one.
As I began studying candida and it causes and effects. I started realizing just how long I have been contributing to this and ultimately the road that lead me to develop 3 auto immune disease with a great deal of suffering from physical pain.Our bodies were never made to be fueled by sugar, however that's exactly what I have always used. I remember before basketball games in high school I would crave a snickers or peanut butter and jelly sandwich. After games I would load up on more crap like pizza and Gatorade. Our bodies were made to be fueled by fat not sugar!
When I try to eliminate sugar completely, its SO HARD for me. I am not only fighting myself but I am fighting this monster inside of me that has been growing for years and destroying my gut and intestines. He has invaded my body and now food particles, toxins and bacteria get into my blood. (leaky gut)
When you begin starving the yeast that has been in complete control for years it gets angry. It gives me all sorts of problems. It's like the monster is throwing a fit and doing everything possible to try and get you to give him the sugar he wants. I break out in rashes- that are MISERABLE. It's like my skin is raw and it burns so badly to wash my hands, put lotion on, etc. I also get terrible stomach pains and digestive issues. I began having more arthritis pain- where it leaves me debilatated. I get nauseous and dizzy. This is considered the " die-off" affects. I can never get through it. ( this is why I need prayer so I can)
If I eat sugar or anything with yeast these symptoms almost immediately go away or subside. I want to be a functional wife and mom so I give into the cravings. I have never gone totally crazy. Giving in= having an apple, or dark chocolate chips with walnuts. But this leads to me wanting more and more. Even as I type this I can't get red licorice out of my mind. ( I can't even tell you the last time I had one, but yet I still crave it.)
Today, at church my pastor talked about pain and how good people suffer from pain. Just last night before bed I was telling my husband how I have felt God's hand in on almost everything in our life but I feel somewhat neglected when it comes to my illness. I have prayed and prayed for healing and God has not granted that to me. I don't know why. I lost it today I had to leave and go to the restroom because I couldn't fight back the flood of tears. There are very few people who know pain like I know pain. I wonder why I have to go through this and what breaks my heart the most is what my daughter and husband have to go through as a result.
So I here I am again today. I am going to try again. This is day 1 again ( for the countless time). I made it through the day with no sugar. I made chicken patties that were delicious so I wanted to share the recipe. I will post it below. But there are many days where I am too sick to prep or prepare food or even get myself to the kitchen. These days are when its so easy for me to fail. I also have thoughts like, " I am suffering so much already, it ok, it will make me feel better"--(Which it does emotionally)"It's not fair that everyone can eat what they want without hurting." "I don't want to faint or pass out and I need to just throw something in my mouth."
See, I weigh 107 and I have anemia. So I need nutrionients/food/protein. When I attempt to starve the monster my appetite grows. The easiest way to feel better and have die-off affects subside is to eat something simple and with sugar. I need non-sugar homemade granola bars on hand, which I am going to attempt to make with a friend this week. I don't know how I am going to have the energy and strength to have on hand the prepared foods I need to eat. But that is why I am going to ask people for help and hope they can help me. I am asking you for prayers that I will have the endurance and will power to get through this and not give into the monster.
Thank you for reading! Here's the recipe. Next time I want to add salt and jalapenos. :)
Makes 2 servings
- 1 lb. chicken breast fillets
- 1 cup zucchini, chopped
- 1 inch piece fresh ginger, chopped
- 2 spring onions, chopped
- 1/4 cup fresh cilantro
- 1 Tbsp. coconut aminos
- 1 egg
- 3 Tbsp. freshly ground flaxseed
- Coconut oil
Preparation
- Throw everything except the oil into the food processor, until you get a good consistency to make the burgers.
- Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat.
- You should be able to form 5-6 patties from the mixture in the food processor. Cook them for 3 to 4 minutes each side, or until browned and cooked through.
- Serve with a salad of your choice.
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