My prayer for a loong time ( years) has been to heal. Everyday, multiply times I day I ask God to heal my body. Toward the fall of last year my prayer changed a bit. Instead of begging God to heal my body and take these diseases from it- I prayed that if I wasn't going to heal that He would allow me the capability of living while I am here. Not just suffering day in and day out. Not able to connect with others at all.
My prayer sounded like this:
Dear Lord, I have prayed and asked that you would heal me and have me wake-up and not be sick anymore. I pray now that if it is not your will for me to heal that you PLEASE, PLEEEEEASE give me a way to live and partake in life while I am still here. Please Lord, bring me something into my life that is going to HELP me. These are the things I desire: to be a capable mom and wife, to contribute to our home financially above my medical cost and to hopefully one day afford to put my daughter in private school. These are my desires of my heart. Amen
When I got pregnant my plan was to begin working full time when my daughter began kindergarten. I have my masters degree in school counseling. I coached basketball and substitute taught since she was 2. When kindergarten came along is when my RA symptoms began exasperating and one day of subbing made me extremely exhausted. I continued to push my body over the years continuing to do what I could with subbing and coaching. But there was flexibility there and no way could I handle a full-job. Because some days I just couldn't push no matter how hard I tired. As I pushed my body it was only progressing my disease on the inside and causing me more pain and disability.
As I share this with you it is after these times because during them I hide a lot and I just didn't have ANY strength to type, text or talk to anyone. I hide because I was scared and also because I wanted to spare others from hurting. If anyone close to me really saw how bad my circumstances were with their own eyes I'm not sure what their reaction would be. Do I regret it? Yes and No. Part of me regrets it because no one got to witness the worst parts- except my child and husband. But the part that is a blessing is what it has done for me and my family. It has brought us close and it has offered all 3 of us hearts of compassion for others suffering because we understand.
When I started taking plexus products toward the end of December. I didn't think in a million years it would help me but I tried anyway. I am sure you have heard or said before, " I will try anything to feel better." So I tired. Even as I began feeling better I didn't realize why because it was as soon as 7 days things were getting better but I didn't know why. By week 3 I knew it was from the plexus products. And I still know because last week I ran out before my auto shipment got here and I feel asleep in the afternoon all 3 days that I did not take my product. I was tired with less energy.
My friend Erin encouraged me to share via facebook on things I was noticing since I started taking plexus. I told her no a couple of times. I wasn't interested in sharing it or making money from it because I am for the first time barely able to get out of bed and I don't want to take anytime from my family and typing was still too much for me to do often ( or so I thought). She said " but Hollie what if by you sharing it helps ONE person in the same place you were in to stop suffering so much." And that was it. I decided to share. So I shared how I was able to push a shopping cart for the first time in a couple of years. The response I got was really crazy. Here all this time I felt like I was dead and I felt like many of my friends didn't really know or care about me anymore. But I was wrong. And it made me feel happy and it made me re-connected with people I love and miss!
One month to the day that I decided to put a post about plexus. I got a nice little chunk of money from plexus. It was an the amount of almost exactly what a one month private school payment would be. I got the chills and began crying. Could this be real? Could God be answering my prayer? Could He not only be giving me something that is helping me feel better but is He also allowing me to contribute more financially and all through one thing- plexus?
Stay tuned...
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